Virginity! The most maligned word today. If you’re an Indian then most probably you’re looking for a virgin if you’re going to get married. You’re at the right place if you’re wondering whether the girl you marry should be a virgin or not or have any query about virginity of a girl and equally of a boy then you’re at the right place. Read the article till end in order to understand the whole scenario.
Here in this article I’ll be telling you about why you should not look for a virgin girl while you’ve decided to get married. This article is based upon a well performed, sensible and responsible research, psychology of men and women and upon the analysis of various factors and many other things that affect the psychology of men and women to make such nonsense ideas and consequently the irresponsible statements. Not wasting your time that much, I’ll be first telling you what the word “virgin” actually means. But I’ll be requesting you to keep your mind open completely in order to understand the article and make sensible decisions. This article is going to shatter the existing nonsense and funny ideas about virginity of both the parties (ie. those who prefer virginity and those who don’t mind about it, both).
Virginity (called as Kunwarapan in Hindi) is not the state of the hymen being intact. You need to understand that the virginity of a girl has nothing to do with the hymen of her.
Hymen is a thin membrane that a girl has in her vaginal orifice which may get broken when she has some sexual intercourse or is involved in hard and heavy sports.
Unfortunately the hymen of a girl in this modern era is equaled to her virginity in spite of knowing that it can be broken with heavy and intense sports like athletics, weight lifting, horse riding, tennis etc. It is irresponsible to equate the presence or absence of hymen to the virginity of girl. Now, If you are asking if there is any method to determine the virginity of a girl or not. Many people ask me the same question “How to test the virginity of a girl?”. Well, unfortunately there is no way to determine such virginity of a girl.
As I told you that virginity has nothing to do with the hymen of a girl. Virginity actually means purity. Purity in here means that the person has never had sex yet and applies both for a girl and a boy. So virginity actually plays an important role in a relationship for many reasons but unfortunately there is no way of finding it. Virginity of a girl was related to her hymen quite earlier when the women didn’t do any kind of physical hard work. So there was no chance of breaking her hymen with such activities other than having sex. That is why the presence of hymen was considered to be the surety of virginity of a girl. But now the whole scenario is changed. Now girls go outside for work and are quite active in sports which may broke her hymen without actually having sexual intercourse also. So you can never know if a girl has had sex or not. However many significant changes appear in a girl who has had sex but you still cannot be sure behind the reason for such changes.
Now here it goes why you should not look for a virgin girl if you’re getting married and never ask a girl whether she is a virgin or not. If you’re a boy and you yourself are not virgin then you don’t deserve a virgin girl. In fact you are going to ruin her life because of that. The boys who are not virgin or have had an at least one love affair don’t deserve a virgin girl to get married. Similarly a non-virgin girl doesn’t deserve a virgin man. Here it must be understood that virginity not necessarily means the absence of hymen, virginity can be lost by a single thought. If you’re thinking about someone else other than your partner or if you’ve had a love affair with someone else but never had sex then still you’re not a virgin. You lose your virginity the same day you think, touch or have emotions for the person in a sexual way with whom you’re not going to get married. That is the reason why in Indian culture most of the marriages were arranged and the love happens later. There are many reasons for the arrange marriages but I’ll discuss them in another article.
So you’ve just slept with him, given him your virginity, a man who doesn’t love you. In fact, he has odd ideas about you, wants to make you some sort of kinky sex slave.
― E.L. James,
As I told you above that virginity of a partner (both man and woman) plays an important role in a relationship there are many reasons for this state of mine. Now I will be telling you why virginity is of such importance in a relationship but you need to have an open and unbiased mind in here because your thinking pattern is totally distorted by other people of the society in the name of modernization. Here I will not be telling about the spiritual aspect of this because most of you don’t like spirituality that is why you’re nonsense. Well, everyone sees that in the name of modernization people have ruined the whole country and the relationships have been affected the most. To be honest, women have done more damage than men in the name of modernization and freedom of doing nonsense things.
Now, the reason why virginity plays an important role (role of virginity in relationships and marriages) in the relationships, especially in a married relationship is loyalty. If you (in fact most people) value loyalty and honesty in a relationship more than anything else then strictly speaking there is no point of marrying a person who is not virgin. The truth is if a person has ever been in a relationship with someone else before marriage then he/she can never be loyal. I know most of you are against this statement of mine but keep your mind open and do a research by yourself then you’ll know. Don’t be biased in thinking. Most of the people today use the phrase “Your thinking is very narrow.” or “You are a narrow minded person.” in countering the people who value the virginity in a relationship. But the truth is those who are well educated and have an open mind, they are the ones who value virginity. Only narrow minded people use such phrases.
A library is a place where you can lose your innocence without losing your virginity.
― Germaine Greer
As per the research, more than 70% of the people who have extramarital affairs; have affairs with their ex-partners. There are more than 90% chances of your partner of having an extramarital affair. A non-virgin partner can never be loyal (in fact he/she is never loyal). Those who have surrendered themselves to someone else before then they can never be truly dedicated to you in a married relationship. Those among you who feel having sex with multiple partners is okay, which most of you, both men and women are doing these days then marriages are not meant for you. Marriage is just a formality in which you involve the government and then if you now feel that we are done with this they get divorced ruining the life of their children. This is the main reason why the divorce rate in India has increased drastically. More than 80% of the love marriages are bound for divorce. A very small percentage of love marriages are successful which is all because of the above said reasons. Also it is the fact that most of the arranged marriages are successful and the divorce rate among them is very less significant.
Here’s what you should keep in mind and should use as a basis for getting married if you want it to be successful. If you want a loyal partner then a person who has never had been in a relationship before is a good choice. Looking for a virgin partner is of no use because you are not supposed to ask a girl if she is virgin or not because it is not decent to ask such things. She may feel offended which is what nobody wants to do. Relationships are not just for having sex, especially the marriages. Marriages make the people (both the man and woman) complete and stable which is why the marriages were started in Indian culture. Sex is just a small aspect of the marriages. If you’re quite conscious and have an open and unbiased mind there you can never find a partner who is not good for you. A woman can ruin your life if you chose a wrong one. I’ll not be mentioning how you can find which girl should is not good for you because it’d be highly controversial; already many of the statements in the above article may be controversial. But I’ll still mention that the dressing sense of a woman tells about more than 80% of her thinking pattern, psychology and other personality traits. However you should understand that you ca never judge her character just on this small perspective of her; in fact you should not judge her. Judging a person is very important but it is so only if you are judging someone for your own defense. You should never judge someone if you’re creating the same perception of him/her in other people’s mind.
I’ve remained a virgin for you.
― Gabriel García Márquez,
The most important thing I’d like to tell you is that it is solely your own personal choice to choose the partner whether he/she is loyal to you or not because there are many people who don’t mind if their partner is having affair with someone else or not. They give funny statements like “love is what matters” which is quite hilarious. Well, I don’t endorse you to avoid the women who are not virgin because you can never know and you should never try. If you’re not virgin then you don’t even deserve. I’d rather say that you deserve someone who has had even more affairs than you have had.
The most serious and important reason why having relationships (mostly sexual) with multiple partners is the worst and most irresponsible choice is because of Runanabandha which is also called as physical memory that causes a confusion in your body and ruins your happiness. Most of you are going to ignore this reason but this is the only reason why I suggest not to have multiple relationships because other reasons said above are just the aspects of emotions which include loyalty etc. and can be compromised but you can never get rid of runanabandha because there is no way.
So if you’re really serious about your long and happy relationships then you should act wisely and keep in mind all the above mentioned reasons. However I feel that many of the reasons I have missed in this article so you should thing and act on your own wisely. You are the one who is responsible for your own happiness or exploitation in a relationship not your partner. It is your own fault that you’ve chosen a wrong partner. Such irresponsible behavior and decisions of you not only ruin you but ruin the life of many others.
I have nothing to give anyone, really. It’s the one gift I can give that has any kind of value. It makes me feel worthy.”
― Fisher Amelie,
The summary of the article:
You can never know whether your partner has ever had sexual intercourse with someone else before or not. However you can easily know whether he/she has had been in a relationship before or not which in turn will help you to know how many chances are there of being his/her loyal to you in your relationship. It should be noted that this clearly doesn’t mean that the person who has never had sex before will surely be loyal to you. I can only say that the chances of being loyal in a non-virgin partner are very less as compared to a virgin partner. You should never ask a girl about her virginity. It is your own responsibility to know about her from other sources if you want to. And most important is that if you yourself are not virgin than you should not expect your partner to be virgin. You don’t even deserve that.
Hope you have got an idea why you should not look for a virgin partner because many of you are not virgin. If you are then even you can never know whether your partner is a virgin or not. You may call it unfair but this is how the world works. If you are obsessed with being in relationship then you have to adjust and compromise. This is why I say if you’re already in a relationship then you should get married in future with each other instead of looking for a different partner. It is a good choice and will help you in many ways. However the truth is that girls are responsible for their own breakups or divorces because of their wrong decision they had taken in choosing the partner. A man can never do anything wrong with a woman if a woman does not allow him to. Women have more power in this case. So it is their own fault if anything goes wrong and they should not accuse men for that. I might be sounding sexist but the truth is I’m not. Keep your mind open and free to think in order to be able to understand how the world and life processes function. Good luck!